What is 'Cool'?

An obsession over being 'popular' and 'cool' has cause terminal insanity, depression, and suicide. What do you think when you read that? At first, it sounds ridiculous to me. Everyone likes to believe that they are untouched by peer pressure, cliques, and the pressure of fitting in. But if I think about it again, it's totally conceivable. Honestly, I am seriously affected by it all, but I try not to be. Though cliques in our grade are very prominent and defined, most people pretend that they don't exist when confronted with the idea. The popularity situation in our grade takes up a lot of my time and thoughts, and I know I'm not alone in this position.

I've talked to a few other people who share similar feelings about this. Some of us come to school stressing about whether we'll be able to sit with the cool kids at lunch that day, or whether we'll be casually edged out of the circle again. Then we wonder who we can sit with if we aren't accepted there. If anyone actually reads this, they will totally know exactly what I'm talking about, but most people still wouldn't admit it to their friends. Well, someone's got to address the problem, and since I've only got three more weeks of dealing with it, I'm comfortable talking about this on behalf of the people who are being excluded.

Last year, I admit, I tried a little bit too hard to be 'cool'. It was my first year, and I wanted to make friends, so obviously they were the first group I looked to. Why not? The popular people always seem to have the most fun, are super attractive, are the center of attention, and never have a dull moment. I wanted to feel included, like I was a part of a special group of friends with a tight bond, that I could be friends with forever. It's natural to want to be a part of something like that. I got labeled almost immediately as 'the person who tries too hard', and apparently that's some horrible sin.

What I really don't understand, is why cliques are so necessary. It's different than just groups of friends. The groups are exclusive, and I know from personal experience as I've tried for basically two whole years to officially join a group of friends and have been unsuccessful. When people in my situation (there are a few) are simply trying to make friends, they get caught between the two different cliques. We might think we're basically accepted now, but then we don't get invited to a sleepover or a party, and we have to deal with being left out of inside jokes and funny stories about it on Monday morning - not so fun. So why don't people just hang out with whoever they want?

We worry about boundaries and getting labeled, like I did when I tried going down that path. We worry that other people will start to dislike us, and insult us because of it. Everyday I'm left wondering what to do at SOS, because as soon as that clock reads 11:00, the friends who I had been laughing and hanging out with moments ago race out the door. They run to meet up with the rest of their group, leaving me behind and wondering, "Is it okay to follow them, or is that trying too hard?" I don't want to have to try to be someone I'm not, cooler than I am, for my friends. But in a small school like this, there's not many other people to turn to.

So what are we supposed to do? Well, I say, we make friends with who we actually want to be friends with. Screw the boundaries; go for it!